KIDS = 1 MOM = 0

I vividly remember the day I got the first grey streak in my hair.
Note that I didn’t say, “My first grey hair.”
This sucker was a bonified STREAK!!!

The boys, ages four and six had been happily playing in the back yard
when suddenly they began beating the heck out of each other.
I raced out into the back yard and pried them apart.
“What the heck is going on?” I yelled as I began wiping the blood off Patrick’s nose. “He called me a dummy.” Sobbed Patrick.
“OH yeah! Well first he called me a jerk.” Yelled Paul with his little hands balled up into fists at his side.
“So… he said I was stupid.” Said Patrick.
“Yeah but….. He said I was an idiot.” Whined Paul.
Back and forth the insults had flown.
“Moron” – “Kootie Head”
“Creep” – “Doofus”
“Doo-Doo Brain” – “Butthead”
Each boy tattling on the other.
“But Mom,” Paul said in a hushed tone, “He said that I was a ……,” he leaned in close to whisper in my ear, “a jackass.”
Before I could scold both of the boys for their language, the truth finally came out and I realized that the final verbal blow had been aimed directly at Patrick.
Patrick looked up at me with those big blue, tear filled eyes, his nose still bleeding and cried, “Yeah ….. but Mommy, Paul said his pee-pee was bigger than mine.”
“Oh hell! Kill each other.” I yelled as stomped back into the house to finish cooking supper.